I feel like this list is never going to end - because every day, among all the very nice and very friendly customers there is that one that makes me want to lean across the counter and slap them.

- Don’t argue with a barista if they are trying to explain something. When you come in and order a vanilla mack-ee-ah-toe you sound like an ass. If they didn’t laugh in your face, they’re all ready nicer than some, and if they try to explain that probably what you want is a vanilla latte? Don’t snap at them. This woman tells me, “I ORDER THIS EVERY WHERE I GO.” Well. Good. Everywhere you go they ridicule you when you walk out. Excuse me for trying to help you.

- Don’t tell me your amazing business plan. First off, I’m not the owner. Secondly, I don’t care. I don’t care if the owner of this place you knew in this state you used to live in went from making “$200 a day to, no joke, $10,000” really? $10,000 a day in coffee? I would die if I worked there then, because when we have a $2,000 dollar day I can barely move after wards.

- Don’t ask me where the cute barista who usually works this shift is. I know, you come in and order your small coffee that you don’t even drink JUST so you can talk to her. Well. She’s into girls. So, when you see me don’t demand to know why I’m working and she isn’t. She’s having a life and I’m covering a shift. And, if you stare at my boobs before you leave after talking about her? You’re a step up from classy.

- That previous one leads into this - I’m friendly. I get paid to be nice, smile, and make your coffee. If I chat with you, I might get a tip - I’m not chatting with you because I want to date you, hook up with you, or even get lunch. Sliding me your phone number, or doing the wonderful head nod while slipping a five into the tip jar makes me think you’re an ass. Don’t get me wrong! I’ll take the five bucks, but I’m not calling you. And, to further this - everyone I work with reads the ‘missed connections’ on craigslist because for some reason we are ALWAYS on there. In fact, we print them off and hang them in the back. I dont care if you think we, “Met eachothers eyes while you mixed 1/2+1/2 into your coffee” I think you’re a creep. Coffee shops hire cute girls (and we have a few good looking guys here too) for a reason. If you just buying coffee to flirt, that’s fine. But we’re going to make fun of you when you leave.

- So, we give you a punch card the first time you come in and order a cup of coffee. The next day? You’re feeling a little bit poor so you punch the rest of your card yourself and come in the next morning when the same person who gave it to you is working. I’m sorry, if you drank 12 coffees yesterday to fill this punch card up - you don’t need a free one. And, if you only ever order a single shot of espresso for a dollar, and use your free one for a large four shot mocha/caramel/vanilla heart attack in a cup? I hate you.

- Bragging to me about how many people you’ve told about this place doesn’t impress me either. I don’t care. If they’re anything like you, you could have spared me. Now, if you’re a nice person and you mean it sincerely in a “I’m trying to help you out!” way, then thank you! But if you want a coffee discount or something? Go away.

- Don’t complain to me about Starbucks. I know I work at a local place and I should be a starbucks hater, but I go to Starbucks if I’m not working. It’s fast, it’s good and it’s fair priced. Starbucks is the same everywhere you go, there are some local shops that aren’t good - and that’s unfortunate but if I’m somewhere where I don’t know the local place, I’d rather get a good cup of coffee than take a risk. Plus, who doesn’t love shaken tea lemonades or whatever they are?

I’m sure I’ll have more to add!

Anyone else have any?