From the mouth of an underpaid barista

I’m a barista at a bux in kc, mo (good to see you survived the snow storm too)

Funny story. Last night i felt like i was in the twilight zone. I had a crazy lady come in, i couldn’t place her accent. My shift asked her in spanish if she spoke spanish and i asked her if french. It was something odd. She ordered “one  american coffee” and “one american espresso coffee drink” so i made her an americano and a double shot of espresso after much debate on what it was she was actually wanting. She paid, took the drinks and came back 15 minutes later and asked me to put sweetner in it. I put in some classic syrup in each, approperiate to the size of the drink and figured that’s cool we’re done. 30 minutes later she comes back and asks for more water in them, so i put more hot water in them, starting to get really weirded out. Another half an hour or so gos by and she comes back and asks for “hot milk cream”, at that point i was like “i don’t know what to do anymore for you sorry” since we were running low on half and half anyway. “i should have charged you for your syrup and i can’t steam milk for something like that since you’ve left three times and you ordered it over an hour ago” I didnt know what else to say. She went over to the condiment bar and grabbed a handful of splenda and walked out. Weird.

Later that night we had a latin-american couple come in, stand at the register and proceed to make out in the most unapporperiate way possible. I asked them if they needed a minute, they didn’t respond. I skipped them, got the rest of the line (at least 6 people) drinks and made them. The couple was still making out. I coughed, loudly and asked them if they were ready. They ignored me, so i ignored them and finished stocking the pastry case. They walked up to the register after a good 15 minutes of this shit and ordered a french vanilla cappuccino (ut oh) and a caramel frappucino. I made them and called them out, placing them on the bar. They ignored it, knee deep back into lip sucking. I brought it over and put it on the counter by our register, within arm’s reach for them. They ignored it still. My shift was staring at me out of the corner of my eye as they walked over to the bar which is out of my view behind our espresso machines (im barely 5’2”). My shift’s eye got wider and she stared at me as they went and sat down (great) in our cafe. She told me later that he was taking a stir stick and poking it into her mouth over and over. Fantastic, exactly what you should do in public.

Why do people leave their houses sometimes i just dont even.

much love to you, laugh at my struggles and fight the good fight~

(ps i am learning latte art, or the best we can do with our less an par pitchers, tips are always welcomed!)

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Thanks http://mdorn.tumblr.com/ !!

As for the latte art, the main thing is to get your wrist motions right. As long as your pitcher has a pour spout and isn’t just round - you should be good to go!